I try to be perfect. I really do. I get upset with myself if I even make the tiniest mistake that someone else catches. It could just be a typo or a missed punctuation, but I’ll beat myself up about it the tiniest bit before I move on. I think this can me a good thing sometimes – I learn from my mistakes and it serves as a reminder to double and triple check my work when I’m tempted to just send it along to the next person. But I also think it can be a mental block that gets in my own way. It prevents me from going to exercise class because I’m not “good enough” or it prevents me from sending along my writing because “it has to be perfect.” It prevents me from trying new things because I’m afraid people will look at me and secretly judge me (or openly judge me, but that would be rude.)
I need to remind myself that it’s okay to be perfect. None of us are. I need to try and be less self-conscious about my imperfections. Most of the time people are so worried about themselves, they don’t have a thought for me! And if they do, the so what?! Their thoughts about me have zero impact on my life, so I should just live how I want to. It’s a hard thing to remember, but I think it’ll definitely help me to get over a few mental hurdles so I can make it to the next step – whether that be trying a new dance class or submitting my writing for consideration.
Until tomorrow. Happy Halloween too!
266 days to go!