goals

How to get the life I want

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The short answer is I don’t know, and the long answer is you have to work for it. The past year and half has been hard for everyone, and while I am certainly more privileged than most, I’m still not happy. It’s due to a number of reasons that I’m still digging into and my unravel with time, but at the moment I have three goals:

  • Take a sabbatical in the next few years
  • Find what makes me happy and do more of that
  • Finish the novel I’m writing and try to get it published

That’s it really.

I do want to acknowledge that part of starting this blog again is to try to cultivate a small source of income for when I do decide to take my sabbatical. There’s a fair chance I would have to quit my job and I would feel much better knowing there’s a small amount of money coming in.

In the coming weeks I’ll be figuring out content I want to share, updating by 18 in 2018 (clearly), and generally stumbling around in the dark and trying things. What fun!

2020 Focus

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I’m sooooo late on the New Year’s Resolution post, but the thing I like about New Year’s Resolutions is that you should really be working on them all year! So even though it’s well into February, I’m still focusing on myself and trying to complete some goals.

  1. Tidiness – I am not a tidy person, so am trying to get rid of things and tidy for at least 15 minutes every day. Marie Kondo didn’t really do it for me, but this Clutterbug book did.
  2. Fitness – I really stopped exercising last year because work got CRAZY, but I’ve come to realize that I’m happier and have less achey pain when I exercise. (Ummm…obviously…)
  3. French! – I’ve always wanted to be proficient in a second language, so I started taking French class last year. But I’m not devoting enough time outside of the one and a half hour class each week. If future me wants to know two languages, then now me better be working on it!
  4. Write – Pretty self explanatory. I want to get a book deal this year, so I better get cracking.

So I’m late to the party, but at least I came to the party! And I’ll try to keep this whole thing-a-ma-jig more consistent, because why not.

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Day 310 :Monthly Check-in Pt. 10

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Helloooo! It’s been awhile because I’ve been busy (as always). It’s almost Summer, almost the end of my year project, almost time for another. And now it’s time for a check in.

  1. Work on my Novel – Almost done my book! I just have a few last things to add and then I should be done. I also have a draft query letter, and a list of agents to send it to once my book is all done. I’m aiming to finish by this weekend since I don’t have many plans, but I always aim to do that and then end up watching Netflix for hours and hours. Maybe I should go to a coffeeshop this weekend and power through. We’ll see. By July 23, I should at least be querying agents. Call it a half win?
  2. Ballet – I have been going again! After months and years of telling myself I’m too tired, and not good enough, I’ve been going on a regular basis. I think going to Pilates and yoga also has something to do with it, since I’m constantly feeling good from exercising, and I keep wanting to feel that way. I won’t move up to the next class level by July 23, but maybe by the end of the year if I feel up it it. Fingers crossed!
  3. Promotion –  DONE! 
  4. Get out of credit card debt –  DONE!!
  5. In a relationship – I started online dating again. I only took a break for two months or so and then my friend got engaged and my other friend got a boyfriend. So here I am. Expect me to take a break again in a couple months. Haha.
  6. Cleaning my life – Not part of my big five, but it’s my monthly goal. I’ve been doing okay at this. I gave some things to goodwill, cleaned out my car, and am in the process of purging my closet. It’s a process and will take longer than I want it to.

So that’s it! Despite not crossing off any major goals this time around, I do feel like I’m making progress that will pay off two to three months from now if I continue working at the same pace I am now.

I’m also almost done with “this year”, so while some my goals might stay the same for next year, I’m going to take the next few weeks to really think about my life and what I want it to be in the future. And then I’ll make a yearly goals to get there. Stay tuned.

Until tomorrow.

55 days to go.

Day 292: Out of Debt!

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Three and a half years ago I moved from the east coast to the west coast with no job, no friends, and no place to live. It was equally brave and foolish. I thought I had a few years of work under my belt and I should be able to easily find a job, but wasn’t easy at all.

For the first year I lived in Los Angeles, I had a series of part time jobs and internships, and I cut down my expenses to the bare minimum. I slept on the floor and my apartment had no furniture. I bought a desk to work and a chair from Ikea. Other than that I dipped into my savings to pay my rent and I put everything else on a credit card – groceries, gas, insurance. I racked up quite a lot of debt even by cutting my expenses to only the necessities. Living is expensive.

I began racking up debt on my one credit card. It made me nervous, so I opened another card with 0 interest for the first 18 months. I thought I would be able to get a job and pay it off easy without having to pay any interest. It took me about a year to get a temp job which gave me forty hours a week and by that time I was several thousand dollars in the hole.

Having a temp job guaranteed me a steady income, but it only paid minimum wage. I only allowed myself a certain amount of groceries in order to stay under budget. Health insurance was incredibly expensive, but at least I had it. Any time there was a holiday or a half day, I got off work, but I also didn’t get paid. If I wanted to visit home, I had to to leave without pay. I wasn’t racking up additional debt, but I couldn’t save any money or pay off any debt either. It continued to rack up with all the interest since I could only pay the bare minimum. Then I had to do major repair on my car and racked up thousands of  more dollars. I was definitely on the borderline of panic every time I looked at my balances.

Meanwhile I continued working my terrible, low paying job. I didn’t have the courage to quit because I was terrified I wouldn’t get any other opportunities, but eventually I had to go. I couldn’t stay forever or I would be there forever with no opportunities forward. Even though I was afraid, I left. The terror of staying there for a long time outweighed my fear of being unemployed. I was jobless for another month.

Eventually I got another temp gig, which paid more and I got some overtime. (The people were nice too.) Then I got hired full time, and got a promotion, and I could start paying off my pile of credit card debt. I paid off a bit and then I started paying off more and more this year. Yesterday I paid off the last of it.  My savings are on the small side, but I should be able to save a whole lot by the end of the year, and I’ll no longer have this particular anxiety hanging over my head. There’s a freedom to not having any debt. So now I just need to work towards the freedom of becoming financially independent.

Two out of Five down.

Until tomorrow.

73 days to go.

Day 230: 30 Day challenges

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Eek! When I don’t have a thirty day gratitude challenge, I do not blog a lot. I’ll try to be better.

I found my January challenge of 30 days of Gratitude to be extremely helpful to me, so I’d like to continue my year with 30 day challenges. These may shift and move due to scheduling and how successful I was in completing the previous month’s challenge, but let’s at least try!

Jan 30 Days of Gratitude
Feb  Didn’t do my challenge 😦
March 30 Days of Meditating
April 30 Days of Pictures
May 30 Days of Piano
June 30 Days of Buying nothing
July 30 Days of Cleaning
August 30 Days of Script Writing
Sept 30 Days of Exercise
Oct 30 Days of No Technology
Nov 30 Days of Novel writing (along with NaNoWriMo)
Dec  TBD

If you recall, in February I tried to do 30 days of exercise, but I think it was too much too soon. I barely exercise once a week, so trying to do it every day for a whole month may have been too ambitious. I moved the challenge to September to try again. Hopefully I’ll set myself up to be better equipped to meet my challenge a few months from now.

In March I decided to do 30 days of meditating. I think it’s going okay so far. I’ve missed a day or two, but generally I’m setting aside some time each day to meditate, whether that be for five minutes or fifteen minutes (I’m not beyond that yet…). It’s tough to add regular habits to your life, so I’ll do whatever I can at the moment even if it’s just the smallest amount of time.

For the rest of the challenges – at the beginning of each month I’ll explain the challenge I’m going to do and the steps I’m going to take to ensure I complete it to the best of my ability. Let me know if you’ve decided to do something similar fro 2018!

Until tomorrow.

135 days to go!

Day 194: 30 Days of Exercise

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Eep! Happy February! I meant to start 30 days of exercise on the 1st, but I had to get to work early (and worked late) so it threw off my whole schedule. It’s hard to do things when you work overtime. (Also it’s hard to do things when you don’t work overtime because work is tiring.) So I’m starting today! Because it’s only the 3rd and it seems nice and neat to start 30 day challenges on the first of the month, but really you can start anytime!

The Plan: For the next thirty days I’m going to exercise every day

The Mechanics: The original plan was to do 30 Days of Yoga with True Yoga with Adrienne. BUT I already have a yoga class I go to on Sundays and I try to go to ballet several days a week so I don’t want to add on more things to do if I’m already exercising. So the days I don’t have class, I’ll do Yoga with Adrienne. And maybe I’ll finish the whole series even though I’m only exercising for 30 days. We’ll see.

Check-ins: Every goal needs an accountability system! So I’ll check in on Saturday of every week to see how things are going.

Let me know if you also have goals for February! And if your New Year’s Resolutions are going well! I need an 18 in 2018 check in soon.

Until tomorrow.

171 Days to go.

Day 140: Reframing

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Hellooooooooo!

I’ve been MIA again for awhile. This time I haven’t been working so many hours, but I have been doing a great many things. December is a busy month with the holidays! Everyone is trying to cram in last minute get togethers and there’s holiday parties and shopping galore. So basically I’ve been busy, which isn’t always an excuse but sometimes it can be.

But I wanted to share something I discovered recently which I’m pretty excited about. Podcasts!

Just kidding. I know all about podcasts, but I haven’t had a chance to listen to them since I switched jobs. There’s just too much to do and I can’t really concentrate on the podcasts unless I’m cleaning or sorting laundry or doing some other mindless task.

Enter driving to ballet. The class I like is pretty far away, especially after work when it’s rush hour. It’s been a definite issue in the past with me not wanting to drive half an hour after work to go exercise. My willpower is low in the evening and the commute doesn’t help.

Then while I was listening to Happier with Gretchen Rubin they were talking about reframing. Basically you take a negative task or idea and frame it in a different light so it becomes a positive. And then it hit me! The perfect time to listen to my podcasts is during my dreaded commute to ballet class. It’s a good chunk of time, so I can listen to the longer podcasts and it’s something I look forward to, so I’ve finally found a way to overcome the commute obstacle. A perfect solution to a thorny problem. 🙂

Until tomorrow! (Podcast & ballet day!)

225 days to go.

Day 100!

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Happy Day 100 Me! There are way more milestones to check in than I thought! I have the first of the month, the monthly check-ins I set aside for myself and now 100 days. (Today also happens to be the first of the month so it’s double check in day.)

I’m not going to do a check in since I just did one, but I do want to say it’s good to have “check-ins” on a regular basis. Just take ten minutes to yourself and see what you’ve accomplished and what steps you still need to take to move towards your goals.

I generally do a life check-in at the beginning of each month (today!). I have a habit tracker that I fill out every day to see if I’m building the habits I want to make part of my life. I check off the boxes every day, so if ever there’s a long string of empty boxes, I know I have some work to do. Sometimes it’s empty because someone was visiting or I was traveling, so my routine wasn’t the same as usual, but if I know there are no different circumstances around those days, I know I need to do something! I also have a longer term goals check-list which I carry over from month to month so I can see what I’ve completed and what I still need to do.

So check in with yourself! And hopefully it’ll help you see trends of your behavior and days over time.

Until tomorrow!

265 days to go!

P.S. Went to ballet. Yay!!

Day 97: Ballet Life

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Well sort of…not really. This has been my most challenging “challenge” so far. I. just. can’t. seem. to. get. to. class. It’s a struggle every weekday and weekend. I’ve tried all the tricks, but I think really I just need to make it into a habit and do it. Also, thinking about how I feel bad if I don’t go is pretty motivating since I feel bad often.

I did manage to go yesterday even though I’ve been feeling under the weather. It was much more challenging than I remember and I felt a little left behind, but I’m happy I went (always am). Whenever I get discouraged, I just have to remember to “Be Terrible”. After all it’s better to go, be terrible and get some exercise than to not go and just lay in bed.

I’ve been thinking about trying some other exercise classes to get myself into shape. Just for fun. Maybe a boxing class or aerial yoga (or regular yoga) or barre class or just some other random kind of work out to kick me out of my exercise funk. I used to go hiking more too. I’ll try to this week.

I’ve also decided that once I cross off another goal on my list, I can pick up another one. Four seems like a good amount.

Until tomorrow.

268 days to go.

Day 92 : Writing Life

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UnderwoodKeyboard

I decided this week to write a few posts about what I’m going to do for each particular goal. #1 is Writing!

I know I’ve said this before, but I completed my novel (again), so I’d really like to make some serious headway on editing so I can have a complete draft by the end of December to begin querying agents in the new year. There’s 68 days until December 31st so that should be plenty of time to comb through each chapter and make sure everything is in tip-top(ish) shape. Even if I’m not done by the end of December, I think I should start querying agents anyway. I keep editing and editing and editing, and there will always be sentences to fix and plot points to mull over. But sometimes you just have to take the plunge and see how things net out.

Other writing goals! I want to continue blogging on a semi-regular basis and write one personal essay to submit to online publications. I’ve never submitted anything before (I’m a scaredy cat) so this will be a good learning experience for me. In regards to timelines, let’s say end of November to look for submissions in December. We’ll see how things go!

Until tomorrow.

273 days to go.