motivation

How to get the life I want

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The short answer is I don’t know, and the long answer is you have to work for it. The past year and half has been hard for everyone, and while I am certainly more privileged than most, I’m still not happy. It’s due to a number of reasons that I’m still digging into and my unravel with time, but at the moment I have three goals:

  • Take a sabbatical in the next few years
  • Find what makes me happy and do more of that
  • Finish the novel I’m writing and try to get it published

That’s it really.

I do want to acknowledge that part of starting this blog again is to try to cultivate a small source of income for when I do decide to take my sabbatical. There’s a fair chance I would have to quit my job and I would feel much better knowing there’s a small amount of money coming in.

In the coming weeks I’ll be figuring out content I want to share, updating by 18 in 2018 (clearly), and generally stumbling around in the dark and trying things. What fun!

Day 140: Reframing

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Hellooooooooo!

I’ve been MIA again for awhile. This time I haven’t been working so many hours, but I have been doing a great many things. December is a busy month with the holidays! Everyone is trying to cram in last minute get togethers and there’s holiday parties and shopping galore. So basically I’ve been busy, which isn’t always an excuse but sometimes it can be.

But I wanted to share something I discovered recently which I’m pretty excited about. Podcasts!

Just kidding. I know all about podcasts, but I haven’t had a chance to listen to them since I switched jobs. There’s just too much to do and I can’t really concentrate on the podcasts unless I’m cleaning or sorting laundry or doing some other mindless task.

Enter driving to ballet. The class I like is pretty far away, especially after work when it’s rush hour. It’s been a definite issue in the past with me not wanting to drive half an hour after work to go exercise. My willpower is low in the evening and the commute doesn’t help.

Then while I was listening to Happier with Gretchen Rubin they were talking about reframing. Basically you take a negative task or idea and frame it in a different light so it becomes a positive. And then it hit me! The perfect time to listen to my podcasts is during my dreaded commute to ballet class. It’s a good chunk of time, so I can listen to the longer podcasts and it’s something I look forward to, so I’ve finally found a way to overcome the commute obstacle. A perfect solution to a thorny problem. 🙂

Until tomorrow! (Podcast & ballet day!)

225 days to go.

Day 123: Monthly Check in Pt. 4

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Time for my fourth monthly check-in. Everything sort of fell by the wayside since I got my promotion. Not only did I start a new job and have to figure out what I’m supposed to be doing, but several people were out of the office for various reasons and it was A LOT of extra work. My schedule has just been work, sleep, eat, repeat. It’s terrible.

  1. Work on my Novel – Like I said, everything fell to the wayside so I haven’t worked on my book at all. But I have several days over the Thanksgiving holiday to work on it and get back on track.
  2. Ballet – I went a few times at the beginning of the month, but then fell off since I was working a lot of overtime. Classes are cancelled for the weekend, but I’m aiming to be back on track next week. Hopefully….
  3. Promotion –  DONE! 
  4. Get out of credit card debt – This is actually going pretty well! With my promotion, I have a higher salary, but I’ve also been working a ton of overtime so I have more money than anticipated. Good for the holidays too. 🙂
  5. In a relationship – Still Bumbling. Since I started working more, it’s been harder to date. It didn’t really pan out earlier, but I know I have to keep trying. I often wonder if I’ll ever meet someone, but that’s another thought for another day.

So there’s my fourth monthly check-in. I feel a little discouraged since I feel like I haven’t done much since last month. I have to remember things take time and I can’t get everything done all at once. It’s only been four months and I’ve already accomplished a few things. I have eight more months to get everything done.  Plus, as they say, you have to plant the seeds for the trees to grow in the future.

Until tomorrow.

 

Day 100!

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Happy Day 100 Me! There are way more milestones to check in than I thought! I have the first of the month, the monthly check-ins I set aside for myself and now 100 days. (Today also happens to be the first of the month so it’s double check in day.)

I’m not going to do a check in since I just did one, but I do want to say it’s good to have “check-ins” on a regular basis. Just take ten minutes to yourself and see what you’ve accomplished and what steps you still need to take to move towards your goals.

I generally do a life check-in at the beginning of each month (today!). I have a habit tracker that I fill out every day to see if I’m building the habits I want to make part of my life. I check off the boxes every day, so if ever there’s a long string of empty boxes, I know I have some work to do. Sometimes it’s empty because someone was visiting or I was traveling, so my routine wasn’t the same as usual, but if I know there are no different circumstances around those days, I know I need to do something! I also have a longer term goals check-list which I carry over from month to month so I can see what I’ve completed and what I still need to do.

So check in with yourself! And hopefully it’ll help you see trends of your behavior and days over time.

Until tomorrow!

265 days to go!

P.S. Went to ballet. Yay!!

Day 99: Perfection

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I try to be perfect. I really do. I get upset with myself if I even make the tiniest mistake that someone else catches. It could just be a typo or a missed punctuation, but I’ll beat myself up about it the tiniest bit before I move on. I think this can me a good thing sometimes – I learn from my mistakes and it serves as a reminder to double and triple check my work when I’m tempted to just send it along to the next person. But I also think it can be a mental block that gets in my own way. It prevents me from going to exercise class because I’m not “good enough” or it prevents me from sending along my writing because “it has to be perfect.” It prevents me from trying new things because I’m afraid people will look at me and secretly judge me (or openly judge me, but that would be rude.)

I need to remind myself that it’s okay to be perfect. None of us are. I need to try and be less self-conscious about my imperfections. Most of the time people are so worried about themselves, they don’t have a thought for me! And if they do, the so what?! Their thoughts about me have zero impact on my life, so I should just live how I want to. It’s a hard thing to remember, but I think it’ll definitely help me to get over a few mental hurdles so I can make it to the next step – whether that be trying a new dance class or submitting my writing for consideration.

Until tomorrow. Happy Halloween too!

266 days to go!

Day 92 : Writing Life

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UnderwoodKeyboard

I decided this week to write a few posts about what I’m going to do for each particular goal. #1 is Writing!

I know I’ve said this before, but I completed my novel (again), so I’d really like to make some serious headway on editing so I can have a complete draft by the end of December to begin querying agents in the new year. There’s 68 days until December 31st so that should be plenty of time to comb through each chapter and make sure everything is in tip-top(ish) shape. Even if I’m not done by the end of December, I think I should start querying agents anyway. I keep editing and editing and editing, and there will always be sentences to fix and plot points to mull over. But sometimes you just have to take the plunge and see how things net out.

Other writing goals! I want to continue blogging on a semi-regular basis and write one personal essay to submit to online publications. I’ve never submitted anything before (I’m a scaredy cat) so this will be a good learning experience for me. In regards to timelines, let’s say end of November to look for submissions in December. We’ll see how things go!

Until tomorrow.

273 days to go.

Day 91: Monthly Check in 3

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Time for my third monthly check-in! It’s been three months since I started this self-improvement plan (project?) and I think I’ve done relatively well so far! The holiday season is quickly approaching so it’s best that I come up with a few ways to stick to my goals (next post!)

  1. Work on my Novel – I finished my novel (again!) after cutting out the whole middle section. Now it’s just time to edit again (and again and again and again. Will the editing never stop?) I do think I’ve learned a lot in this process and hopefully my next book will not require so much cutting and rewriting and editing (but it probably will.) I’m hoping by the end of the year I can have a solid book and begin sending query letters to agents.
  2. Ballet – The cycle for the beginning of class started again, so hopefully it’ll stick this time! It’s definitely been a struggle (clearly), but I’m always hoping to do better.
  3. Promotion –  DONE! 
  4. Get out of credit card debt – Blargh. Still working on this and I will be for quite some time. Hopefully with my promotion I can start paying it off more aggressively (plus that bonus and tax return next year will hopefully help!)
  5. In a relationship – Still Bumbling. I’m not sure if anything is going to work out. Usually I get irritated with people by the third or fourth week and I can feel it happening again. There’s just an expectation with online dating that everyone wants to either just hook up or jump directly into a relationship. And I don’t want either of those things so I feel people are often disappointed.  And I’m resistant to both so we get nowhere in the end.

So there’s my third monthly check-in. Ninety one days in and I’m a little farther along with all my goals except Ballet. Perhaps November will be Ballet month, just like October was meant to be Ballet month.  Eventually I will figure out a way for it to stick!

Until tomorrow.

274 days to go. It’s a lot of time and it’s no time at all, right?

Day 83: How many times can I fail

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Multiple! I was supposed to exercise twice this weekend! And I did neither! Because I am terrible at exercising!! I really need to figure out a way to establish a long running habit which I will only break occasionally for vacations and birthdays and engagements and weddings. Ugh.

 

Well this week is a new week and I went to see the ballet today and got all inspired by what I wish I looked like. I decided I need to do something every day to work towards getting better, which means going to yoga or stretching at night. It really is helpful to get “re-inspired” once in awhile to show you why you wanted to do something in the first place. Of course, I know I’ll never be professional, but there’s a reason I started going to ballet and it’s because I just really enjoy it.

I’ve thought about it and I think there’s a few ways to get myself to go.

PLAN OF ACTION

  1. Prepare! – If it’s a workday, I need to prepare dinner ahead of time and bring my exercise clothes to work so I can change at work and eat dinner around 5:55 at work (or in the car.) If it’s a weekend I should be fine, but can bring a change of clothes if I plan on doing something before or after.
  2. Sleep! – I need to get a good night’s sleep the night before and take my vitamins so I’m not too tired at the end of the day. An extra boost of caffeine in the afternoon wouldn’t hurt (I know I shouldn’t rely on this, but if it’s the way to get my exercise habit started, then so be it.)
  3. Future Me! – If I’m thinking of skipping I need to think about how good I feel when I go and how regretful I feel when I don’t go.
  4. Accountability! – And I need to make friends in class so I have accountability partners.

So there we have it. My plan of action! PSFA (PASF? PAFS!!!)

Tuesday. I will go. And report back.

Until tomorrow.

282 days to go.

Day 80: Success!!!

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Hooray! A second success! (Sort of.) I mentioned before that I cut out the whole middle section of my book. It was a pain, but I think the book is better for it. Or at least I hope it is. It took a lot of work and a lot of Pomodoro time, but I finished this morning!

Side note – Preparing to fail, I’ve been writing in the morning and not counting on myself to write at night. (Yay!)

There’s still a bunch of work ahead since I need to go back and edit everything and make sure it’s cohesive. I tend to let story elements fall away and then I’ll remember the villain is meant to be doing this or that and I’ll bring them back, so I need to make sure it’s even throughout (where it makes sense.) Taking a few days off and then I’ll inch towards completing my book ten minutes at a time.

Double Hooray!

Until tomorrow.

285 days to go.

Day 78: Sacrifice

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The thing about wanting to achieve my goals is that there’s never enough time or energy for everything. I spoke about this previously in my 100 blocks post. (Day 5! That seems ages ago!)  I wish I was a high energy person, but that’s just not the case and so I just have to deal with it instead of pretending I’ll be high energy when I get home. I know that if I blog, then I’ll have less time and energy for writing and if I cook dinner to save money then I’ll basically be too tired for anything else.

Part of it is about planning to fail. I know I get tired after cooking, so I make a large batch of something and have that sustain me throughout the week. Part of it is deciding what’s more important to me. Right now in my life it’s important that I cook instead of eating out to save money. It’s important that I blog some days instead of writing (or writing less) because it keeps me accountable.

What this really comes down to is that I KNOW I won’t have time and energy for everything so I need to prioritize what’s important to me. That means saying no to dinners and drinks so I can save money and have time to write. It means giving up on dating for awhile if it’s taking up too much of my time. (That is TBD at the moment…) Basically it means sacrificing some things I enjoy now, so I can be proud of where I am in the future. Now I just need to figure out what’s more important. Part 2 coming soon!

Until tomorrow.

287 Days to go.